Oblates of St. Francis de Sales

New DeSales World Newsletter - Summer Edition

3rd Sunday of Easter (April 25, 2004)

Suggested Emphasis

"When you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted. When you grow old, you will stretch out your hands: someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

Salesian Perspective

Let's face it: we'd like to be in charge of our own lives. We want to call the shots. We like to do what we want, when we want, where we want, how we want and with whom we want. Given a choice, we would prefer to be the masters of our own destiny. Nowhere is this so obvious than in our teenage years and in our experience as young adults.

This touches every dimension of life: even our spiritual life. St. Francis de Sales wrote the following to St. Jane de Chantal: "Young apprentices in the love of God gird themselves; they take on the mortifications that they think are good; they choose a penance of their liking; they choose resignation and devotion of their own design." (Stopp, Selected Letters, p. 203)

However, over time, a funny thing - and, sometimes, a not-so-funny thing - gradually happens. We begin to learn some hard lessons about life. We learn that we don't have absolute control; we learn that we don't always have the first word, let alone get the final say. We learn that some of the best things in life are not of our own making, but are the designs of others.

This, too, applies to every dimension of our lives, including the spiritual: "The older masters of the trade allow themselves to be bound and girt by others, submitting the yoke given to them by others, and find themselves following the kinds of roads that they would not choose by their own inclinations. They stretch forth their hands: they willingly allow themselves to be governed by a will other than their own...this is how to give glory to God." (Ibid)

Francis de Sales offers a touching insight into his own struggle with this truth in a letter to Sr. Marie Ammie: "I am a poor, frightened little creature, the baby of the family, timid and shy by nature and completely lacking in self-confidence. That is why I should like people to let me live unnoticed and all on my own according to my own inclination." He continued: "When I was young and still had very little understanding I already lived like this; but although according to my temperament I am shy, nervous and timid as a mole, I want to make a good try at overcoming my natural preferences and, little by little, learn to do everything...that God has laid upon me." (Selected Letters, page 242)

I suppose the secret to happy, healthy and holy living is to embrace the wisdom of age with the passion of our youth: to follow God's will for us rather than to stubbornly cling to our own, but to do this as passionately and persistently as if it were naturally or clearly our own preferences that we were pursuing.

This is not weakness: no, this is real strength. Christ's willingness to follow the will of his Father for him - difficult as it frequently was - unleashed in Jesus incredible power for life and love, justice and peace, healing and reconciliation. The promise of Easter is that the same power is available to us, provided that it is God's plan, not ours, which we follow. Jesus not only survived - he thrived. His faith, his passion, his resilience and his love, indeed, had the last word in his life. Won't you let them have the same effect in yours?

Michael S. Murray, OSFS, is Executive Director of the De Sales Spirituality Center at Childs, MD