Oblates of St. Francis de Sales

New DeSales World Newsletter - Summer Edition

THE HOLY FAMILY (Dec 31, 2006)

Suggested Emphasis

"Being Holy, 'living in God's house,' does not preserve us from difficulties."

Salesian Perspective

The heart of any parent would go out to Mary and Joseph in today's Gospel. Noticing that Jesus was missing a day after leaving Jerusalem, we can image this brief - yet troubling - interchange: "He isn't with me. I thought he was with you. You mean he isn't?"

This was not the first instance of troubling news for the Holy Family. In fact, challenges faced them from the very beginning. St. Francis de Sales says: "Consider the vicissitudes and changes, the alternations of joy and sorrow" we find in the Holy Family. "What joy, what jubilation for Our Lady to receive the tidings that she will bear the Eternal Word!" By contrast, consider St. Joseph, seeing that she was with child and knowing that it was not by him: into what affliction and distress he no doubt plunged!"

Again: "When our Lady brought forth her Son, the angels announced his birth, the shepherds, and magi came to adore him: what rejoicing and consolation was theirs, amid all this. But wait: a little later, the angel of the Lord said to Joseph in a dream: take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt! Oh how great a subject this must have been to our Lady and St. Joseph." (Conference III, Sermon on the Octave of Holy Innocents)

While the ups and downs, the joys and pains of Jesus, Mary and Joseph have something to teach us, the real lesson for us who try to maintain and nurture "holy families" in our own lives is how the Holy Family faced life's tribulations: "We must consider the great peace and serenity of mind and heart of the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph, shown in their constancy amid all the unexpected events that befell them."

The measure of a "holy family" is not found in what does - or does not - happen to its members. Rather, a "holy family" is one that demonstrates a certain grace and confidence when faced with the events of daily living, especially the unexpected ones. Francis de Sales urges us: "Consider whether we are justified in being surprised and troubled when we meet with similar accidents in the house of God. We must repeat over and over again to ourselves, so as to more deeply impress this truth upon our minds, that no turn of events must ever carry away our hearts and minds in displays of temper, for unevenness of temper proceeds from no other source than our own passions and preferences."

We most imitate the Holy Family in our own relationships when we impress upon our minds and hearts that the world does not revolve around us, that things do not always go our way, that our plans are frequently not the last word. We cannot always control what happens to us: we can, however, choose how to respond to the unexpected in our lives in ways that promote faith, tranquility, strength and courage.

Rev. Michael S. Murray, OSFS, is the Executive Director of the De Sales Spirituality Center.