Oblates of St. Francis de Sales

New DeSales World Newsletter - Summer Edition

7TH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME (February 18, 2007)

Suggested Emphasis

“Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”

Salesian Perspective

And who is my enemy?

Odds are, not a stranger. Odds are, not someone with whom you will interact only once. Odds are it is somebody you know. Odds are is it a member of your family, a friend, a co-worker. Odds are someone with whom you interact every day.

I his Introduction to the Devout Life, Francis de Sales wrote: “We must often recall that our Lord has saved us by his suffering and endurance and that we must work out our salvation by sufferings and afflictions, enduring with all possible meekness the injuries, denials and discomforts we meet.” (III, 3)

We don’t need Francis de Sales to tell us that life has its share of conflicts or conflagrations, but I suppose the problem is that the “injuries, denials and discomforts” we experience don’t occur in a vacuum, and that they come to us at the hands of other people. Long after the memory of our past embarrassments, sufferings and afflictions blurs and fades away, we may still remember the person or persons who meted out those embarrassments, sufferings and afflictions with crystal clarity. On a spiritual plane, while we may even try to love the abuse we suffer as an opportunity to grow, we may grow to resent – even hate – the person who serves as the source or instrument of such abuse…especially in the case where our detractors or persecutors are good people: perhaps, even people we know and love.

Francis continued: “To be despised, criticized or accused by evil men is a slight thing to a courageous person, but to be criticized, denounced and treated badly by good people, by our own friends and relatives is the test of virtue. The wrongs we suffer from good people and the attacks they make are far harder to bear than those we suffer from others. Yet it often happens that two good men, both with good intentions but because of conflicting ideas, stir up great persecutions and attacks on one another.” (Ibid)

Let’s be clear. Francis de Sales is not advocating that we should allow ourselves to be victimized; he is not suggesting that we allow ourselves to be pushover or doormats. Whenever we encounter injustice – including against ourselves – it needs to be addressed, it needs to be called for what it is, and, where applicable, it needs to be remedied. But the only thing worse that the sufferings that we experience at the hands of others – especially the people with whom we live, love, labor and laugh every day – is the suffering that we continue to experience within ourselves years after the event because of our failure to love others…choosing, instead, to hate them.

Odds are this is the greatest tragedy of all. To see everyone else as an enemy…and to become an enemy to yourself.

Rev. Michael S. Murray, OSFS, is the Executive Director of the De Sales Spirituality Center.