Shoulder to Shoulder

Nov 11

At our St. Francis de Sales School Open House last week, I spoke about two parts of our Salesian Spirituality that influence the way we educate and form our students. Both relate to connection.

When I started teaching, someone told me something I’ve never forgotten, and I still preach. Students connect not face to face, but shoulder to shoulder. It is hard to connect with students through lectures and face-to-face discussions. Instead, they connect shoulder to shoulder. Do something alongside them, and they will connect and engage.

Connection grows when walking alongside someone instead of standing in front of him. For our faculty, this changes how we’re present to our students. We don’t show them we care by talking at them. We show it by being with them. This can work for parents as well, especially when dealing with adolescent and teenage children.

The second part comes from Francis de Sales’ focus on the present moment. St. Francis emphasized God’s presence right here and right now. As educators, we’re called to love the present, not the potential. It’s tempting to love a student for who he’ll become as we recognize the leader, the scholar, the man he might grow into. But that’s a quiet way of not loving him yet. Francis asks more of us. Love the student in front of you, as he is, today.

Although this was meant as guidance for teachers, I’ve come to see it as a lesson in how God loves us. Jesus loved the person in front of him. He didn’t wait for Zacchaeus to change before inviting himself to dinner. He spoke with the woman at the well as she was, not as she might someday be. He loved Peter before the denial and after it.

God also connects with us shoulder to shoulder. On the road to Emmaus, Jesus didn’t face the disciples with answers. He walked beside them at the very moment they admitted they had lost hope, and only later did they realize their hearts had been burning the whole way.

I think that’s how God is most often with me by connecting not face to face, but shoulder to shoulder. This has relieved my guilt and anxiety about not saying enough to God throughout the day. I don’t need to say more. I just need to walk shoulder to shoulder with God.

That’s why the Direction of Intention means so much to me. Before each activity, my prayer has become simple.

Lord, be with me shoulder to shoulder, and help me love the person in front of me.