What Fear Reveals

Sep 1

I always connect with St. Peter in the Gospels. He just tries so hard!

This past weekend, we heard Peter trying to find a way to save Jesus’ life. In response to Peter’s desire to save his friend, Jesus calls him Satan: “Get behind me, Satan.”

John Pilch, a Scripture scholar and historian, offers an insightful definition of Satan. He translates the word as “the tester of loyalties.” More on this to come.

Every year, we choose a Salesian theme for the school, usually drawing from a quote by one of our Salesian saints. After speaking with the seniors, we chose this year’s theme from St. Francis de Sales, “We must not fear fear.”

When I spoke with our seniors at St. Francis de Sales School, I asked them about the last time they were afraid. One student immediately raised his hand, “Today! We have a soccer game today, and I’m afraid I’ll trip over my feet and land on my face!”

The students went on to speak about a variety of fears that ranged from difficult classes, athletic challenges, and connecting with classmates. Fear is everywhere.

What I love about St. Francis de Sales’ words is that he doesn’t tell us to avoid fear. He simply asks us not to be afraid of fear. Fear is something we can face, something we can learn from, and even something that can reveal what is important to us.

At one point, one student said something that really struck me: “My fears show me what I care about. Tell me your fear, and I will tell you what you care about.”

I thought this was incredibly insightful.

Fear has a way of revealing our “loyalties.” The soccer player is afraid of letting his team down. He is afraid of looking foolish. He is afraid of letting down the people depending on him.

This is why I love Peter.

When Peter is afraid, he says it. When he doesn’t understand, he says it. When he wants to protect Jesus, he acts. When he realizes he has failed, he weeps.

Peter’s fear reveals his loyalty. He cares deeply about Jesus.

Perhaps this is one of the gifts of fear. It can show us what we love. It can reveal what matters to us. If fear is a “tester of loyalties,” then the question is not simply, “What are you afraid of?” But rather, “What does your fear reveal about what and who you love?”