Aiden Frank, ‘27
Sophomore Retreat Salesian Reflection
Father Judge High School
Aiden Frank, a junior at Father Judge High School gave the following Salesian Reflection at the sophomore retreat:
Oblate Fathers Jack Kolodziej and Vince Smith with Aiden and fellow Father Judge classmates at the retreat.
In 1873, a little girl was brought into the world just for it to be flipped upside down. She lost her mother when she was only four, was extremely sensitive, and struggled for years with her emotions. Shortly after experiencing a "conversion" that freed her from this struggle, she was admitted to the Carmelite convent and found beauty in living a life of ordinary tasks, doing small things with great love. Unfortunately, tragedy struck her again, this time more directly, and she died of tuberculosis at twenty-four.
This Carmelite nun was none other than St. Thérèse of Lisieux, and she left us with this: "If every flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness."
She looked at the great saints, the roses, and felt small beside them, but she came to see that God made the wildflowers on purpose, too. Some of the lives we picture for ourselves, the star athlete, the top student, the guy everyone knows, may simply not be our call. That isn't a loss. It's the difference between being flashy and being needed.
St. Francis de Sales, whose teachings we're exploring today, said the same thing in plainer words, which you are all familiar with: "Be who you are, and be that well." Francis knew how hard that was. As a young man in Paris, he became convinced that God had already decided against him. He stopped eating and sleeping well and pulled away from his friends.
Then, praying before a statue of Mary, he let go of the fear and prayed that even if he could never be sure of God's love in the next life, he wanted to love God with everything he had in this one. With that, his anxiety lifted.
Francis didn't find peace by becoming perfect, or by becoming someone else. He found it by being honest about where he really was.
This past summer, I found out how hard this is to actually do: I had to decide whether to play soccer or run cross country. I had played soccer since I was barely able to walk, and it was one of the main reasons I came to Judge. But after a strong outdoor track season, something clicked: I wanted to run. Although, if I am being completely honest, I didn’t want that to be true. I was afraid of letting down the coaches and teammates who had invested in me, and afraid of giving up something that was such a part of me.
In the end, I followed my heart and chose cross country… but then I ran into a different problem: comparing myself to others. As Teddy Roosevelt said: "Comparison is the thief of joy." A thief takes something you already have, and what you already have is joy: the joy of a good practice, a good friendship. The moment you start measuring yourself against someone else, you stop enjoying what's in front of you. I'm extremely competitive, and measuring myself against seasoned runners would have stolen the joy of the sport before I ever found it. It's a race no one wins.
Aiden Frank
But being who you are doesn't mean staying exactly as you are. Francis is remembered for his gentleness, yet he had a temper, and he worked on it for years. Thérèse worked hard on her patience, too. And it certainly doesn't mean reshaping yourself into someone else, which is exactly what comparison tempts us to do.
Authenticity means growing into the best version of you. It starts with honesty and with letting go of comparison, and it continues in the work of becoming that person well, every day.
So here are two questions to take with you today. What's something you know about yourself but don't want to believe? And what are you attached to that you need to let go of?