During the week of June 18, we Oblates of the Wilmington-Philadelphia Province met at De Sales University for the 2018 Convocation/Chapter. On Tuesday of that week I was elected Provincial. I am both honored and humbled. I am deeply grateful to my Oblate brothers for the confidence they have placed in me.........…
Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen
Fans of the hit comedy, M*A*S*H, which aired for 11 seasons and ended in 1983, may recall the title of the final two-hour episode: Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen. I use this expression not to evoke images of concluding a war, as in the television show that chronicled the human side of the Korean Conflict........…
The Air We Breathe
Traffic Spirituality
The Catholic School Difference
Feast of the Visitation of Mary
The Empty Locker
As our senior high school students prepare for their upcoming graduation, their thoughts and memories may begin to turn to the many spaces which defined their experience of high school: The classrooms where they aced tests, debated with teachers, and occasionally took a discreet afternoon nap......…
The Spirit Within
This famous prayer of St. Augustine illustrates well the place of the Spirit in each disciple: within the person. Frequently, religious art and imagery depict the Holy Spirit coming to believers from the outside. It is our belief that the Spirit of the living God is placed within us at our baptism and remains with us for the rest of our lives......…
The Ripe Path
In the reconciliation room of my church hangs a painting of the “Woman Caught in Adultery” crafted by Brother Mickey McGrath, OSFS. In that depiction the angry crowd stands to the left and the humiliated woman stands to the right. Jesus stands in the middle. Reading the account from John’s Gospel, however, I always get the feeling that the crowd is surrounding her. .....…
Signs of Holiness
Happiness or Holiness?
Hindrances to Holiness
Francis and Francis on Holiness
“I am as human as I can possibly be.”
St. Peter’s Pedicure
Change You, Change the World
Overlooked
Humility and Hubris
The Fourth Commandment: Mature Audiences Only
Stephen Karam’s 2016 Tony-award winning drama, The Humans, is on stage at the nation’s oldest playhouse, Philadelphia’s Walnut Street Theater, and it comically depicts a Scranton, Pennsylvania family under siege by the country’s economy and culture. The Blake family of four also attacks itself with old and new hurts, swiping psyches, egos, and memories. Watching their grandmother fade with dementia, the two late 20-something granddaughters struggle to remember the best of their parents and recall instead the worst of their annoying personalities. Somehow, love cracks into their relationships.
The story highlights the hardships of family life, especially under the stress of life itself. It also reminds the disciple of the difficulty of the Fourth Commandment. Frequently a top vote-getter for most violated of the Decalogue by children and adolescents, honoring mother and father—for many—gets harder with age. Renegotiating relationships with parents when children become adults is challenging. Issues of boundaries could require an emotional GPS that is not readily available. Nevertheless, the divine call to respect parents is always in effect, no matter the age and aging of all involved.
Easier said than done.
Family members have the potential to drive us crazy. They know which hot buttons to push because they have seen the reactions to their pushing for years. An Oblate once famously said, “No one can push my buttons like my mother; that’s because she installed them!” Our insecurities and limitations have likely been fostered and fortified by our families, especially our parents. Perhaps this is the wisdom of the Fourth Commandment. To honor—always—those who formed us, we honor the love they gave us regardless of the success they may have had at parenting. We know no one is perfect, and parenting is possibly the most difficult of works. Imperfections in the most crucial of contexts exacerbate the consequences, yet we are commanded to return mercy, forgiveness, and understanding. Yes, this is honoring parents, and it is honorable to do it.
Perhaps it is what marks us as humans.