Funeral Homily for Fr. Dick De Lillio, OSFS
Homily—Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS
Today we gather to commend the soul of our brother, Richard, affectionately known as “Dick” or “Fr. D.” I am honored to have been asked by our provincial, Fr. Jack Kolodziej, to preach at his funeral mass from the perspective of my time with him during those early years at Nativity Prep.
On the death of his mother, St. Francis de Sales wrote to St. Jane de Chantal: “Let God gather to himself what he has planted in his garden. He takes nothing out of season.” Fr. D’s life was filled with energy, passion, and enthusiasm. True to his Italian heritage he did not slide through life quietly and he leaves this world making God’s Garden more beautiful than he found it. These words as first can be hard to hear because from our perspective we would love to have “more time” with our loved one, even for a person who lived to be 86 years old. But, from God’s perspective of time, FR. D. is exactly where he was always destined to be—in the loving embrace of the God who created him.
My homily today has three points: 1) A message of Consolation from our Scriptures; 2) An Image of Hope for your Journey; 3) and The Legacy and Gift of Fr. D’s Life.
A Message of Consolation from our Scriptures
We heard these beautiful words of consolation from our Scripture readings that Fr. D. chose for his funeral mass:
“The souls of the just are in the hand of God and no torment shall touch them. They are in peace.”
“If we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.”
“Come and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart.”
The cross is an ever reminder to us of that first Good Friday when Jesus changed the world—the day that sin, hatred, and death itself was overcome by love, which conquers all things. God so loved the world that he gave us his Son and permitted him to suffer and die so that we might have eternal life. This is our consolation made possible by what Jesus did for humanity on the cross on that first Good Friday. Whenever we are confronted with disappointments, rejections, hurts, challenges in this life, and even death (our Good Friday experiences) our Christian faith teaches us that these experiences no longer have the final say—they are not the end of our story. Our story does not end with the cross, but with what God did on Easter Sunday morning. Today we celebrate because all the Good Friday experiences of Fr. D’s life have ended and today, he is at peace and rests in the loving embrace of God. May this truth give us comfort and hope.
An Image of Hope for your Journey
This morning, I asked for forgiveness from Fr. D. for what I am about to do as I will draw on Irish folklore for the funeral homily of a passionate Italian, here in his Italian home parish. There is a beautiful image that comes to us from Ireland that gives hope that the connection to our loved ones who have died continues. From ancient times, Celtic folk have had a sense of what they call thin places—spaces where the veil between this world and the next becomes permeable—where the space between heaven and earth becomes so thin that it can almost be touched.
A few examples to illustrate what this means. Thin places exist in the physical landscape—think of pilgrimage sites such as Jerusalem, Fatima or Ground Zero in New York. In September 2019, I went on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and had the unique opportunity to celebrate mass on the grounds of the Garden of Gethsemane—in that space I experienced an intimate moment where the space between garden and heaven; between Jesus and myself, was so thin—that I could almost reach out and physically touch him.
Fr. D’s passion and commitment for the mission of Nativity Prep was so real and genuine that the place he built, Nativity Prep, will become for those who knew him well there, one of those thin places.
This funeral mass where we commend the soul of Fr. D to the loving embrace of God is a reminder that as we remember the loss of those we love, gifts come to us through thin places. These gifts are unbounded by time and have small regard for chronology. Instead, these gifts spiral around to us and move through time in ways that we cannot contrive or foresee, asking us to remember just how fragile the veil is. Every time we gather around the altar and pray these words: “Remember our brothers and sisters who have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection, and all who have died in your mercy: welcome them into the light of your face” When we pray for our brothers and sisters—holding onto the bond we have forged with them in this life, we enter that thin space where the veil between heaven and earth becomes permeable.
The Legacy and Gift of Fr. D’s Life
The best way that I could think of reflecting on the gift of Fr. D’s life is through his very own words. As we all know from experience, Fr. D was never short of what to say in conversation, and this was just as true in his prolific written word. He leaves behind a wealth of wisdom from his writings and preaching. Much of what I am about to share comes from a work entitled: “A Moment with DeSales,” which can be found on the website of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.
“Everything we do is all about getting from here to there.” (from earth to heaven - advice he quoted from his mom).
“The only difference between a saint and a sinner is every saint has a past, while every sinner has a future.”
“Growing up in my parish (St. Anthony of Padua), I took my turn as an altar server. The 7’oclock mass seemed more like 3:00 AM, crowded as it were with elderly Italian women. These Italian immigrants felt grateful and blessed by God to be in America. Their flamboyant praying and singing simply expressed their gratefulness for the joys and blessings they felt in their hearts.”
“Through preaching, priests can keep in mind that they are speaking to God’s wonderful people. And that the Word of God, when preached with clarity, conviction, compassion, tenderness, mercy, and forgiveness—this has great power to heal.”
A Reflection on Nativity Prep by Fr. D
In the early days of Nativity Prep, every challenge presented an opportunity for creativity and growth. Recently, I took a memory walk through some old photos from those beginning days and was reminded of one such moment that has now become part of our school’s cherished history. Before Nativity was an academic institution, the building we called home was once a spa—complete with a swimming pool. As we embarked on our mission to create a nurturing environment for our students, we decided to close off the pool due to potential safety concerns. But as fate would have it, the swimming pool’s story was far from over. One day, not long after our first fifteen students started their educational journey, we encountered our first rainy day.
Outdoor basketball had become quickly a favorite activity, and the rain seemed like a disappointment to the young players eager to head to the courts. With the weather keeping them indoors, they were left restless, searching for something to channel their energy. Then came the moment of inspiration. One student exclaimed, “The swimming pool! Let’s use the swimming pool!” His excitement was contagious, and in a matter of seconds, cheers erupted from the group. Quickly, the pool area became their new sanctuary for basketball.
What was once a swimming pool was transformed into their new indoor court and so began the tradition of Nativity Basketball in an empty pool. Rain or shine, our students had found a way to play. From that day forward, whenever the weather didn’t cooperate, the boys would gather in the former pool, now the “inside court,” to enjoy a game of their newly named version of the sport.
Pool basketball wasn’t just a makeshift solution—it became a symbol of the resilience, creativity, and camaraderie that has always defined Nativity Prep. The games played in that unlikely space forged lasting memories and deepened the bonds among the students. It was a testament to the idea that, with a little imagination and a lot of heart, any obstacle can be turned into an opportunity.
Today, the pool has been filled in to make way for classrooms and a library and Nativity Prep has grown in scope, but the spirit of those early days remains at the core of the school’s identity. Just as our first students turned an unused space into something meaningful, our current students continue to rise to the challenges and opportunities before them, making the most of every resource and experience they encounter. As we reflect on this history of our school, stories like this remind us of the unique journey that has shaped who we are.
The early days of Nativity Prep may have been filled with improvisation and unexpected solutions, but they laid the foundation for a thriving community—one that still carries the same determination, creativity, and joy that turned an empty swimming pool into a beloved basketball court.
Thank you, Father D. It was a privilege to walk with you during those early days of Nativity Prep. I am a better person because of our collaborative work—as is true for many of us here today.
In a homily at the death of his good friend Joe Lucey, Fr. D. said: “I am consoled by this thought from St. Francis de Sales: ‘It is a consolation to know that the friendship begun on earth will continue in heaven.’ And I look forward with joy to the day when that takes place.”
Go in peace Fr. D, enjoy the fruits of your ministry, a life well-lived as an Oblate of St. Francis de Sales. “Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord. May perpetual light shine upon him and may his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, rest in peace. Amen.”