Names

May 21

Of all my speaking engagements, there is one every year that makes me nervous. Over Memorial Day Weekend, I am charged with reading the names at commencement for St. Francis de Sales School. It is a harrowing responsibility.

A few days before graduation, you will see me casually asking the seniors, “Say your name.” I always discover many names that I’ve been mispronouncing for years. The “s” really sounds like a “z.” The “on” sounds more like an “en.” By listening, I discover the lineage of their names, the family meaning behind them, and the many times they were mispronounced.

Then, every year, a student will respond to my request with, “Father, say it either way. It doesn’t matter.” This is the hardest response. I ask back, “How does your family pronounce it?” For all those who love this graduate, it means a great deal to hear his name. And, they are the first ones I will hear from if I mess it up.

Names tell us a lot. In his two books, Introduction to the Devout Life and Treatise on the Love of God, St. Francis de Sales refers to the reader as Philothea and Theotimus, respectively. Essentially, he is calling the reader Lover of God. These classics are written to us, Philothea and Theotimus, Lovers of God. DeSales writes to make our simple desire turn into a strong resolution.

About a month ago, I went into all our senior religion classes. After spending years with the Oblates, I asked them, “What is common among the Oblates? What do we all share?” They had wonderful answers and great compliments. It was encouraging. I could tell they each had interacted with Oblates throughout their time at the school. But you know what was missing in their answers, it never came up that we were Lovers of God. Somehow, we mispronounced our names. I think I forgot to tell them how to say it.

I share this because we all need to hear our names. We are Philothea and Theotimus - Lovers of God - and it is not earned, it’s given, and it’s remembered. Lover of God. That’s who we are. That’s who we’ve been. And wherever we go next, may we carry that name proudly, and teach others how to say it too.