Honey or Vinegar?

DeSales WeeklySpiritual Reflections

Jul 22

Written By Victoria Reilly

I recently had a student who had this conversation with another teacher:

Student: “Mr. Smith, I’d like to talk to Fr. Newman about discernment.” 

Mr. Smith: “That’s great. Go talk to him.” 

Student: “But isn’t he too busy?” 

Mr. Smith: “No, he’d love to meet with you. Just ask him.” 

Student: “How do I ask him?” 

Mr. Smith: “Oh, ask him to meet because you’d like to talk about discernment.”

When the teacher later shared this exchange with me, I stopped in the hall to think and reflect.

We all know that famous quote from St. Francis de Sales: “More flies are caught with a spoonful of honey than a barrel of vinegar.” And so I had to ask myself: Am I showing honey—or vinegar?

I’m allergic to the term “busy.” I try not to use it. I correct myself when I do. I cut it short when it comes into my mind. But the student still hesitated. Why? Was it something about my demeanor? My schedule? My silence? Was it something about how I walk the halls, or don’t? Or did the student assume that his discernment would be the lowest of my priorities?

Because if someone walks away thinking that sharing their vocation, their desire to discern God’s will, or their questions about life isn’t important to me, then I’ve already lost something essential to Salesian ministry.

But you know what my final thought was in the hall? Praise God for Mr. Smith!

Thank you to all the people who collaborate with us in ministry and share honey with the world!
Thank you to all who bridge our gaps, soften our edges, and cultivate Salesian Spirituality.
Thank you to all those who remind us of our priorities, our ministry, and our call to holiness.

The student did speak with me, and we are meeting soon!

May God be Praised!